How this came to be lovinghard.com
Born out of the affliction of painful loss, Lovinghard.com is about living and loving differently. Of all the things we have been given stewardship over, relationships are THE most important, yet the thing most at risk in our world. The value of relationship just cannot be overstated, However, because our culture is one of easy dismissal, casual betrayal, and selfish pursuit of "happiness," the value of relationship has been significantly reduced, to almost worthless, or certainly not worth fighting for. We were created for relationship, and we are doing our best to make life work without it in it's truest form. We have settled for the fragments of relationship or pseudo-relationship. Put simply, Loving Hard is all about relationship. But what does loving hard mean? Let me take you back to a world without form and void of light.....the 1980s.
The early 1980's was a time of parachute pants, wildly gelled hair, electronic rock, and a slew of other fashion "flavors of the month." I happened upon a song by the cult band The Call. Musically, this was the era of Phil Collins, Breakfast Club, Sinead O'Connor, Madonna,and the Michael Jackson frenzy, among so many others. In addition there was the dawn of supergroup U2 and their spiritual rock n roll. But lest I slide headlong into nostalgia, let me get to the point.
This song I heard, way back in those days of fashionable facial stubble, the rise of MTV, Pac-Man, and other mindless peripheral distractions was called The Morning, a passionate cry of a man's gut-level desire to live, and love well. Within the lyrical context of the song, lying in wait as if meant for my ears alone, were a handful of lyrics....
"... I wanna run, I wanna shout, I wanna make thunder
I wanna know what kind kind of spell I've fallen under
Show Me, Show Me
I wanna live, I wanna breathe,
I wanna love hard
I wanna give my life to you..."
I was in my early twenties when those words "love hard" carved their path from my ears to my heart. The passion of the singer, the melody so simple, and the words so raw - settled in me, and have never left. I distinctly remember having some innate sense of what that meant - to love HARD. Perhaps it was because, in my heart, I knew that I was headed down a long and wayward road of NOT living or loving well? I longed for this passion, as I believe we ALL do. I wanted to run well. I wanted to shout at the top of a mountaintop. I wanted to make some thunder in this world. I wanted to live-truly hard, with abandon of selfishness and self-concern.
Twenty-something years, four beautiful children, two ex-wives, and a life of unfulfilled promise later, I find myself embracing the opportunity to love hard.....finally. It was no coincidence that those simple words stuck with me, despite my outright rebellion for many years. I didn't live, or love well. Until recently I'm not even certain that I knew how! But I always remembered those words. They haunted me, sometimes with shame, but mostly as a whisper that beckoned me to enter a world of engagement and adventure.
Ultimately, we are all meant to live well and love hard. We were made for that, created with a spiritual presence that longs for connection and for a deep, lasting, and unconditional love. Even as I practice the art of loving hard, failing at it more often than I care to, by the way, my desire is that we all get there. It is not easy. Anything good doesn't come easy.
Where this website will venture to is still rather unclear to me. Initially, it will be a forum to share stories of life and love...real life and real love, and what that ultimately involves! Beyond that is still to be determined and implemented.
In the meantime, I wanna run strong, I wanna shout loud, I wanna make thunder, I wanna live well, I wanna breathe deeply, and I wanna love hard.
My thanks to the late Michael Been, who left us in August of 2010, for his inspiration and pointing the way.
The early 1980's was a time of parachute pants, wildly gelled hair, electronic rock, and a slew of other fashion "flavors of the month." I happened upon a song by the cult band The Call. Musically, this was the era of Phil Collins, Breakfast Club, Sinead O'Connor, Madonna,and the Michael Jackson frenzy, among so many others. In addition there was the dawn of supergroup U2 and their spiritual rock n roll. But lest I slide headlong into nostalgia, let me get to the point.
This song I heard, way back in those days of fashionable facial stubble, the rise of MTV, Pac-Man, and other mindless peripheral distractions was called The Morning, a passionate cry of a man's gut-level desire to live, and love well. Within the lyrical context of the song, lying in wait as if meant for my ears alone, were a handful of lyrics....
"... I wanna run, I wanna shout, I wanna make thunder
I wanna know what kind kind of spell I've fallen under
Show Me, Show Me
I wanna live, I wanna breathe,
I wanna love hard
I wanna give my life to you..."
I was in my early twenties when those words "love hard" carved their path from my ears to my heart. The passion of the singer, the melody so simple, and the words so raw - settled in me, and have never left. I distinctly remember having some innate sense of what that meant - to love HARD. Perhaps it was because, in my heart, I knew that I was headed down a long and wayward road of NOT living or loving well? I longed for this passion, as I believe we ALL do. I wanted to run well. I wanted to shout at the top of a mountaintop. I wanted to make some thunder in this world. I wanted to live-truly hard, with abandon of selfishness and self-concern.
Twenty-something years, four beautiful children, two ex-wives, and a life of unfulfilled promise later, I find myself embracing the opportunity to love hard.....finally. It was no coincidence that those simple words stuck with me, despite my outright rebellion for many years. I didn't live, or love well. Until recently I'm not even certain that I knew how! But I always remembered those words. They haunted me, sometimes with shame, but mostly as a whisper that beckoned me to enter a world of engagement and adventure.
Ultimately, we are all meant to live well and love hard. We were made for that, created with a spiritual presence that longs for connection and for a deep, lasting, and unconditional love. Even as I practice the art of loving hard, failing at it more often than I care to, by the way, my desire is that we all get there. It is not easy. Anything good doesn't come easy.
Where this website will venture to is still rather unclear to me. Initially, it will be a forum to share stories of life and love...real life and real love, and what that ultimately involves! Beyond that is still to be determined and implemented.
In the meantime, I wanna run strong, I wanna shout loud, I wanna make thunder, I wanna live well, I wanna breathe deeply, and I wanna love hard.
My thanks to the late Michael Been, who left us in August of 2010, for his inspiration and pointing the way.
